Dungeons and Dragons 01x04: Valley of the Unicorns

Time once again to hear from regular guest contributor Daisy and the D&D gang! Like always, if you'd like to do your own guest recap of something, you can contact me at jvonhalsing@gmail.com for guidelines.

Episode four is called “Valley of the Unicorns.” It’s written by Paul Dini again, this time with Karl Geurs, whom IMDb tells me worked on Winnie the Pooh’s Most Grand Adventure and The Jungle Book 2. So I guess we can expect a lot of Uni for this one.

Oh joy.

We open to the scene of a spooky forest, where the trees literally have faces and a fully grown unicorn is drinking from a pond. Lightning cracks, and suddenly a pack of wargs descend upon the unicorn! As the enemies face off, we jarringly cut to Uni, freaking out and jumping into Bobby’s lap. Bobby asks her what’s wrong. Eric, who’s busy shaking rocks out of his boots, says that it’s probably nothing, because Uni freaks out at the slightest provocation. Which is true. But then Uni suddenly bolts.

The kids give chase, Eric awkwardly trying to yank his boot back on.

Eric: “We can’t go anywhere until I get rid of the rocks in my shoes!”

Diana: “Keep ‘em. Maybe the rocks in your head need company, Eric!”

This is going to be one of those episodes where everyone is a gigantic dick to Eric, isn’t it?

We cut to the shadows of the unicorn and the wargs fighting across a nearby rock, and I think something brutal is going to happen, because that’s how they show brutal stuff in kids’ cartoons – via ambiguous shadow puppetry. But no, we just pan over to see the unicorn trying to kick the crap out of some wargs, so I guess it was a stylistic choice? Lightning flashes some more, and then we see a weird old wizard riding a warg. In a hot pink muzzle. Huh. Is it supposed to be red? No, that’s definitely hot pink.

Wizard: “Enough of this! I want him!”

Dude, he’s a unicorn. Ew.

Anyway, clearly Brony Wizard is controlling the wargs. Uni comes pelting onto the scene, trips, and essentially tumbles right into the guy’s mount. Smooth. That’ll cost you a point, Uni. She freaks out upon seeing where she is, and the wizard is all ‘a second unicorn!’ and tries to nab her, but misses. The wargs give chase, and the kids catch up. The wizard walks his mount backwards behind an improbable outcropping of rocks, so all the kids see is the wargs fighting the unicorns.

Bobby’s stoked.

The kids rush in to help the unicorns. Bobby cracks open the earth and buries a bunch of their enemies, while Hank fires some arrows and Diana whacks at them with her pole. Presto summons some… uh, ham. And feeds them. Eric comments that this is dumb, which it is – feeding the vicious canines only works as a distraction, not a combat technique. But then the wargs lunge at Eric and he’s too busy fending them off to offer up any more criticisms. The creepy old wizard watches them from some bushes that have conveniently materialized in front of his hiding place and muses that this is much better. Yeah. He’s into some messed up crap. A stray warg nabs Uni and makes off with her. The big unicorn tries to pursue them, but is cut off by the rest of the seemingly unlimited supply of wargs.

Bobby’s Uni-dar goes off and he asks where she’s gone, and Hank’s all ‘no idea, but the big one still needs help.’ But then the adult unicorn’s horn glows and suddenly he teleports himself to higher ground, out of the wargs’ range.

Why didn’t he just do that before?

Thunder cracks some more while the unicorn rears up, and we cut to a scene of the creepfest wizard riding off with Uni. Screw you, old man. That’s our annoying sidekick/pet/creature/thing! Uni’s horn starts glowing, and apparently this is a thing, now, because she teleports, but only manages to get from the front of the warg to the back of it. The wizard just grabs onto her and is all ‘what a shame you’re too young to have learned how to do that properly, and too bad you never will because I’m going to kill you baby unicorn mwahahaha.’ I don’t like him. In addition to being obviously evil, he is just plain creeping me out. Stop leering at the baby unicorn, man. Just stop it.

Where’s Venger? I want Venger back. He can even run around pantless some more if he wants. I’m sorry I made fun of him, he can have ice cream if he replaces this guy.

Creepy Brony Wizard recalls his limitless warg pack, anyway. The kids are huddled together and getting ready for the wargs to charge when they suddenly take off.

Sheila: “What do you think scared ‘em off?”

Eric: “Simple, Sheila. They took one look at my great strength, one look at my grim weapon-”

Diana: “One look at your grody face.”

Bobby thinks Diana’s burn is the most hysterical thing ever, until he suddenly remembers that Uni mysteriously disappeared during the fight with the large predatory unicorn-attacking beasts. Hanks all ‘those wolves must have chased her into the forest.’ Okay, two things, Hank. One, those were not wolves. I’m not sure that they were wargs, but wolves are not big enough for adult men to ride. They were Dire Wolves, at the very least. Secondly, one of them picked Uni up in its jaws and made off with her. So I think it’s pretty safe to say that if this was a legitimate animal attack and not something being orchestrated by an evil wizard you don’t know about, Uni would be dinner. The logical conclusion is that Uni is in several stomachs now.

Bobby, of course, wants to storm the forest until they find her. Eric is annoyed that Hank and Bobby keep deciding where they’ll go, but freaks out when he sees one of the spooky trees with faces and decides to stick with the group.

Back with Brony Wizard, Uni is trying to teleport again. Creepfest informs her that unicorns can only teleport once in a day, and then notes that her friends are following them – just as he planned, mwahaha!

Cut to Eric peering over top of a veritable field of brambles and spying Creepfest high atop his wargish steed. Eric says he doesn’t particularly want to try and crawl his way through a spiky labyrinth just to rescue some dumb unicorn. 

I feel you, Eric. 

The silence must be extremely cathartic at this point. 

Bobby takes offense to Uni being called dumb. In fairness, I don’t know what the standards for a developing unicorn’s intelligence are, but Uni is pretty dumb.

Dungeon Master: “Now, now, young ones.”

The kids look over to see DM lounging on top of some brambles like they’re just the comfiest place ever. Maybe it’s just me, but everybody seems to be in spectacular creep mode this episode. Hank is surprisingly all business as he asks DM who the weirdo with the wolves (screw you, Hank, they’re not wolves) is. Bobby doesn’t care who he is, he’s got Uni, ergo he is going to get his brains smashed in by Bobby’s club. DM ignores Bobby and explains that Creepfest is the wizard Kelek, and that he has much more than just Uni.

Well, presumably, most people have more than just the clothes on their backs and that one unicorn that they stole. But DM doesn’t seem to have a great barometer for how the average person lives.

Meanwhile, Eric has produced a notepad and pencil. Either he’s been hanging onto them both this whole time, or a notepad and pencil managed to fall through the universes and he just happened to come across them, like that one scene in Escaflowne where Hitomi finds a CD at a trader’s stall. Eric has a plan, though. He is going to write down everything DM says.

Eric gets a point. No, Eric gets two points. That is the most sensible, genre-savvy thing anyone on this show has done so far, and I will fight anybody who disagrees. Eric is the best.

Hank asks if DM knows who that other unicorn they briefly encountered was. Who cares, Hank? You’ve already got a unicorn to worry about. DM tells him that that was Silvermane, the leader of the last unicorn herd. Sheila wants to know how he could teleport – I suppose, should they ever manage to reclaim their own unicorn, it would be useful information to have, so fine. We’ll talk about unicorns some more. DM explains that all unicorns can teleport with the magic in their horns, while Eric dutifully tries to transcribe everything. Then DM startles Eric and says ‘the fate of the one is shared by all’, while glaring at him sternly, and suddenly Eric loses coherence and gets everything DM said mixed up.

Well.

That’s not unsettling at all.

Eric gets so flustered by his sudden inability to organize his thoughts that he breaks his pencil. He asks DM if he can repeat himself, but of course, the old jerk has disappeared again.

The kids turn their attention towards the problem of the brambles. Bobby suggests smashing through them, but Hank says he has a better idea. Eric mocks Hank, but suddenly, everyone is looking at him weird. We cut to a scene of the kids proceeding through the brambles. Eric is at the front of the group, using his shield to protect everyone as he pushes it, and its barrier, through the brambles. Why Bobby couldn’t smash some brambles or Hank couldn’t blast them with his bow or Presto couldn’t pull some machetes out of his hat, I don’t know. But it’s all on Eric, so that means Eric gets another point.

Eric: “The things I do for you guys.”

Hank: “Stay down and keep quiet!”

Eric stands up to take a break, and Hank yanks him back down lest Kelek see him. Hank is an ass. He pushes down some brambles himself and says he doesn’t think Kelek saw them. Dude, you guys are leaving a massive, highly visible trail right through the Bramble Sea. Anyone at a slightly higher elevation can see you coming from miles away. And, of course, Kelek knows full well that they’re there, and tells Uni so. Again. Because this is all part of his mysterious and creepy plan. He alludes to killing Uni again, and Bobby tries to jump out of the brambles and club him. Hank stops him for some reason, though.

Why, I don’t know. Fighting the wargs in the brambles seems like it’d be easier than fighting them out in the open, since it’d be harder for them to surround the kids. If Hank just shot the guy this would probably be over pretty fast. But Hank can’t just shoot people, because censorship. So instead we get to watch Kelek clear a big patch of brambles with his magic and then summon a gigantic warg-themed palace from below the earth.

Holy crap, never mind, this guy’s got some serious magic on his side. Maybe they should go level up and then come back later?

Judging by the apprehensive looks on the kids’ faces, I think they agree with me.

Kelek heads inside and we get to see him standing in front of a creepy statue loaded with either poorly drawn candles or glow sticks. I’m gonna guess glow sticks. He’s got Uni chained up with glowing energy rope and tells her that she’s going to add to his power. Uni doesn’t seem stoked, since he probably doesn’t mean it in a ‘good team-building makes a leader stronger’ way, but a ‘unicorn blood is amazing for enhancing dark magic and curing acne’ way. Through a nearby triangular window in this giant palace, we see our intrepid heroes watching the proceedings. This building is so huge, I’m pretty sure they can only tell what’s going on because of the acoustics or something.

Kelek exposits that he wants the power of teleportation, which he’s been stealing from the unicorns. Once he has that power, he’ll be so tough, even Venger will call him Master! Yeah, I’m gonna be backing Venger’s horse in that race. Presto and Eric apparently agree with me.

Presto: “That guy’s gonna be the new Venger?”

Eric: “Not a chance, that guy’s cracked!”

Remember, kids, it’s always important to stand by your arch-nemesis. Tacky second string villains come and go, but real enemies last a lifetime.

Hank feels this whole Kelek vs Venger debate is distracting from the real issue, which is Uni. He suggests they double back and head downstairs, which, at a guess, is something that I’d say would take several hours, but before they can start Kelek starts casting a glowing blue spell. The kids rush down and make the trip surprisingly quickly, but it doesn’t matter. They charge into the chamber only for Kelek to hit them with some kind of magical stasis or something. Whatever it is, it freezes them in place. Then he zaps Uni and oh, the glow sticks the statue is holding are unicorn horns. Right. That makes sense. Uni’s horn disappears and she goes all grey, in animation shorthand for the exhausted/de-powered. Kelek walks past the frozen kids and summons up a dais with a sparkly amulet on it.

He holds up the amulet and starts ranting about how he’s going to find the hidden valley of the unicorns, steal the remaining horns, and then be just like the most badass wizard of all time ever. Uni’s magical bonds fade and she slumps to the ground, and through the frozen stasis magic, we see Bobby crying. Because you can say a lot of things about that kid, but you cannot deny, he seriously loves that annoying little unicorn.

Uni tries to stand but can’t quite manage, so instead she starts crawling towards Bobby. This sight is so heart-wrenching for Bobby that he goes from crying to so pissed off that he smashes the stasis magic with his rage. Holy crap. Point for Bobby. Bobby rushes over to Uni, who’s happy to see him being a badass, and then Bobby tries to smash the statue holding the unicorn horns. Hank breaks free and calls after him, but Bobby charges anyway, and is thrown back by some kind of force field. Hank tells him to stay with Uni while he frees the others. I’m still not clear on how he managed to break the stasis magic. Maybe the spell doesn’t work so well on blonds?

We cut to everyone free from the stasis magic except for Eric.

Diana: “I’ve been waiting for this for a long time.”

Diana starts hitting Eric with her pole while he winces.

Presto: “Gee, do we have to let him loose? It’s been so nice and quiet without him.”

Y’know what, screw you guys. Eric’s the only reason you’re not all perforated with thorns right now. You’re all jerks.

Eric finally gets free from the stasis magic and rounds on Diana, but before he can build up any steam for a good rant they hear the loud sounds of horses neighing. The kids rush off to investigate, and find the other unicorns that have been de-horned by Kelek. Sheila notes that there’s a whole herd of them. Presto says that there will be more, once Kelek finds that secret unicorn place that he’s searching for. Everyone is really pissed off by this whole horn theft thing, but I’m mostly surprised that an evil wizard is keeping his victims alive at all.

Hank decides that their priority is to get to the secret unicorn hideout and warn all of the unicorns! Hank, that is a terrible idea. You don’t know where the unicorns are hiding, and even if you did, chances are very good that they know full well that Kelek is after them. I mean, you met that one unicorn fighting his wargs earlier, didn’t you? What information do you think you can give them that they don’t already know? Minus point Hank. Bobby wants to stay until he can figure out a way to get Uni’s horn back.  Sheila thinks that staying in the creepy giant castle full of wargs and malevolent wizards is not a great idea, and that maybe the other unicorns can help Uni! Hank quotes DM again, nonsensically, but this does seem to sway Bobby’s opinion.

Hank figures that the other unicorns can lead them to the valley, if they can be convinced to trust them. Uni convinces them in, like, two seconds, so Kelek’s plan is obviously going off without a hitch. All he needs to do is follow these yahoos back to the other unicorns, now.

Our illustrious heroes traipse off into the night with their gaggle of sad-looking unicorns following along. Kelek and his wargs watch ominously from a distance. The group reaches a rainbow waterfall that makes a sound like ringing bells and parts immediately to let the unicorns through. I don’t know how that counts as a ‘secret’ entrance to a valley full of unicorns. The rainbow waterfall that makes the bell sounds seems like it’d be the first place anyone would look. Everybody proceeds through, with Hank loudly and pointlessly shouting ‘this way!’ and ‘a tunnel!’, just in case Kelek couldn’t tell what was going on from a distance, I guess.

They proceed through the waterfall tunnel and come out into a beautiful valley, which Diana helpfully identifies as the secret valley of the unicorns. Bobby helps Uni stumble over the last few rocks, telling her to take it easy, but as soon as she gets into the valley, she breaks out into a run. Uni heads full-tilt for the unicorn we first met fighting the wargs. Silvermane! They bump noses and stuff, but then Silvermane starts freaking the hell out. Hank tries to tell him that the kids aren’t there to cause trouble, but it doesn’t calm him down any.  Eric thinks Silvermane is an ungrateful jerk, but Sheila’s the one who finally notices the wargs who’ve been tailing them this whole time. Point Sheila.

Kelek looms on the ridge over the valley and thanks the kids for leading him to the last remaining unicorns, mwahaha. Then he uses his amulet to trap Silvermane and the other two remaining horned unicorns in a magical bubble and starts levitating him. Hank finally shoots at him, but Kelek just levitates some giant boulders over the kids and drops them.

Eric: “Quick, get under my shield!”

The boulders fall onto the kids while Uni watches in horror. Kelek makes off with Silvermane and the others. Sometime later, we see Uni angrily kicking at the rocks that have buried her friends. Bobby calls out, telling her not to worry, because get this – Eric has saved all their lives! What a shock. Bobby crawls out of an opening in the rocks, Sheila not far behind him.

Dungeon Master: “Why do you find that difficult to believe, Barbarian?”

Bobby: “Dungeon Master! Aw, you know. Eric doesn’t do anything but complaining.”

Sheila: “Yeah, who’d have thought he could be brave?”

Why are you people so surprised? Eric’s magical weapon is a freaking shield. His whole thing in fights is throwing himself between other people and deadly danger. He saves all your butts from Venger in the opening to every episode!

Dungeon Master: “People can be many things. Sometimes your worst enemy can be your strongest ally.”

…

…Venger’s going to defeat Kelek, isn’t he? Well, crap, that’s the whole ending of this episode spelled out. Thanks a lot, Mr. Spoiler Factory.

Diana kneels in front of the giant pile of boulders and sarcastically asks Eric if he’s writing all this down.

Eric: “I’ll give you something to write down! Get me out of here!”

We switch over to see Eric, still crouched beneath a mountain of boulders, desperately holding his shield up to keep from being crushed.

You are such a jerk, Diana. You know what, all of you kids are jerks, and you are all losing points except for Eric, who gets one for saving everybody instead. This is not how we treat people who have just saved our lives. We do not abandon them to hold up a bunch of boulders on their own so we can go exclaim over how surprising it is that they’d save us, unless we’re villains. This is villain behaviour. You’re all terrible friends. Yeah, I said it. I went there.

Anyway, we cut to a scene of the hornless unicorns and the kids standing on a cliff, looking towards Kelek’s ridiculously overdone castle, and it’s nighttime now. Eric’s with them, so I guess he got out somehow. Hank insists that they have to hurry to the castle because there’s not much time.

Presto: “Yeah, and soon he’ll be even stronger than… Venger! Hey, am I brilliant or what?”

Eric: “If you’re so brilliant pull something useful out of that hat! Like about eight thousand marines.”

Presto: “I’ll do better than that! Don’t you guys remember? Dungeon Master said that sometimes our strongest ally is our worst enemy. Our worst enemy is Venger!”

Actually, DM said that sometimes your worst enemy was your strongest ally. Minor point, but it does imply a different set-up. Anyway, Presto seems to have figured out the spoilers, too, because he starts using his hat to summon Venger.

Holy crap. Holy crap. You can do that, Presto? You can summon Venger? Holy crap you’re terrifying. You can summon the evil overlord of the entire realm. With a hat. Holy crap.

Eric freaks out and says that DM said sometimes your worst enemy is your ally, and that doesn’t necessarily mean right now, but Presto is on a roll and will not be deterred. Of course, he screws up, and instead of summoning Venger to the kids he accidentally teleports himself to Venger.

Considering this whole episode has been about how the power of teleportation can make Kelek top dog in the world of wizards, however, I think it’s still safe to say that Presto is terrifying. 

So Venger is all ‘you’ve invaded my castle and the penalty for that is death so bye’ and Presto is all ‘wait, no, I’m here to help you!’ and Venger is all ‘help… me?’ and sad violin music plays in the background (well, not really) and Presto is all ‘you’ve gotta stop Kelek, because he’s been using this ugly statue to swipe unicorn horns and he says he’s gonna beat you’ and Venger’s all ‘Kelek, eh? Okay give me the full rundown’ so I guess Presto gets a point. Good job, Presto. Your weird not-friendship with Venger continues to be incredibly useful, especially in tandem with your terrifying cosmic powers.

We switch scenes to find that Kelek has taken the horns off of Silvermane’s groupies, and he’s been saving the best for last. Just as Kelek begins to cast the spell to take Silvermane’s horn, an eerie ghost noise echoes throughout the chamber. We see the kids crouching in one of the many, many openings, which just seem like huge security liabilities, to be honest. Eric is using the echoes and one of his boots to make ghost sounds. He thinks it’s a stupid idea and wonders where Presto disappeared himself to. Bobby tells him to shut up and keep with the noise-making, because Bobby is contentious at the best of times but his patience meter hits zero whenever Uni’s been mistreated.

Eric looks done with all of this crap, like usual, but continues to help, also like usual.

Kelek starts walking towards the ghost noises like ‘damn ghosts in the plumbing I swear to god that’s the last time I hire those exterminators’ and Hank gives a signal to Sheila, who pulls on her invisibility cloak. She unshackles Silvermane, so I’m gonna give her a point, because hell if I’d know how to unhook magical horse shackles. Eric wants to know just what exactly they’re going to accomplish with all this. Hank is all ‘it’s our fault Silvermane got captured, so we have to save him!’ and Eric’s like all ‘I’m pretty sure this is just going to get us killed by an evil wizard’ and lo and behold, Kelek shows up and zaps Hank’s bow right out of his hands. Considering how well he did last episode, Hank is really dropping the ball today.

Sheila’s like ‘well, we tried’, and takes her cloak off for some reason, even though Kelek hadn’t zapped her. Then Kelek summons his wargs, and it’s a showdown as Presto teleports back in! Again using the all-powerful magic that some other dude needs like dozens of unicorn horns to pull off. Presto’s all ‘you’ll never believe where I’ve been’ and Bobby’s like all ‘move before wargs eat your face!’ But then the wargs turn into cuddly little puppies.

…Really, Venger? Really? God, you are just… just not good at this villain stuff. At all. Puppies. You made freaking puppies.

One of the warg puppies starts chewing on Eric’s boot and Eric’s all ‘how the hell did you do that?!’ to Presto, and Presto’s all ‘wasn’t me’ and points to where Venger is just nonchalantly strolling into the castle.

So Venger’s all ‘heya Kelek’ and Kelek’s all ‘uh, heeeey’ and Venger’s all ‘hey what?’ and Kelek’s all ‘hey… master’ and Venger’s all ‘that’s right I’m the master – thanks for gathering all these unicorn horns for me.’ Then he goes over to the statue, but the barrier repels him. Venger tells Kelek to release the spell. Kelek’s like ‘yeah sure thing’ and Bobby thinks it’s hilarious that the evil wizard is in trouble with his boss, but then instead of taking down the barrier, Kelek flips right out and starts attacking Venger.

Kelek: “The horns are MINE! Their power is MINE! Now you shall call me ‘Master’!”

Someone had a lot of fun animating Kelek’s facial expressions for this part.

Venger’s like all ‘izzat so?’ and blasts Kelek into a wall, and then LASER FIGHT! Kelek accidentally smashes his own statue as he tries to murder the hell out of Venger, who looks like he’s having a pretty fun time, actually. Eric’s like all ‘okay, let’s make a break for it while they’re distracted’ but Hank says the unicorns are too weak to escape, and they need to get the horns. The horns that are currently sitting in the middle of Kelek and Venger’s bitch fight. Wonderful.  Eric sarcastically asks if they’re supposed to glue them back on, but Presto is on a roll and says he’s going to magic them back on.

He tries, but instead of putting the horns back on, just summons a bunch of musical horns onto the unicorns’ heads.

Presto: “Guess it takes more magic to put them back on than to take ‘em off.”

Eric tells Presto that DM said he only had to replace one horn, because, according to his notes, ‘the fate of one is shared by all.’ So he did manage to write it down correctly! Which makes his weird mental breakdown all the more disturbing. Huh. Anyway, point for Eric, naturally. Diana says she hates to admit it, but ‘Mr. Mouth’ is right. I am so done with you right now, Diana. Presto magically gets Uni her horn back, so that’s a point for our resident badass wizard. The one-equals-all deal works, and all the unicorns get their horns back. Uni’s so excited she immediately starts her wretched bleating up again. Bobby puts a hand over her mouth to stop her.

It’s so Venger and Kelek don’t hear, of course, but I’m going to give him a point just for saving my ears. The kids realize that the sounds of fighting have changed, and Hank darts forward to see that Kelek is stuck in a gigantic, rotating bubble, and shouting ‘no’ a lot. So I guess the fight did not go well for him. The bubble disappears into the ground, and Hank shouts that the castle’s sinking back down. Hank. We were trying to be quiet. Stop screwing up or I’ll dock you another point.

Venger! The Force of Evil: “Of course. With Kelek gone, his castle is going with him. And now, the unicorns are mine!”

That’s the trouble with ‘enemy mine’ situations. They rarely outlive the mutual enemy. Venger throws some energy blasts at the kids, and Presto seems particularly offended by this, like he actually thought they might be able to turn this whole arch-nemesis deal around. Bobby’s all ‘what a creep’ and Eric just wants to know how they can escape, god dammit.

Hank – pretty presumptuously – leaps onto Silvermane’s back, and tells the others to jump on the unicorns so they can teleport them out. Um. Didn’t Silvermane already teleport today? Or was that yesterday? How many days have gone by, here? How far did the kids travel? Well, I guess it must be more than one day. Everyone takes a unicorn. Uni even rescues Bobby herself, so I guess she earned another point. Everyone teleports out, and Venger yells because boo, he wanted unicorn horns. And also the castle collapses onto him. But don’t worry, he’s fine.

We change scenes to see Uni playing with a bunch of other baby unicorns in the magical unicorn valley, while Silvermane looks all majestic and stuff. Hank stands on a hill next to Diana.

Hank: “Diana, there goes one happy little unicorn.”

Diana: “Yup. Leaving behind one unhappy little boy.”

Why… why are you two standing on a hill loudly discussing our situation? Is this a thing you guys do now? It’s weird. Stop it.

We see Bobby sulking on a boulder nearby. Sheila tells him that they have to go, because, y’know, quest to get home and all that. But Bobby doesn’t want to leave without Uni. Sheila asks what he’ll do if Uni wants to stay, and Bobby says that he loves Uni, which is beside the point but Bobby’s a little kid so he hasn’t learned that lesson yet. The kids walk out from underneath the rainbow bell waterfall (seriously, worst hiding place ever) and we see Eric trying to chase the warg puppies away from him. Apparently Sheila brought them to the valley to be guardians for the unicorns, and they’ve been following Eric around. That is adorable.

Then, suddenly, Uni comes running out of the waterfall! Aw. Dammit. Well, Bobby’s happy, and Sheila starts crying tears of joy, I guess because this means she won’t have to handle the inevitable emotional fallout of Uni leaving just yet. But, I mean, the longer she stays with them, the harder it’s going to be. We zoom in on the waterfall, and the water parts to reveal Dungeon Master standing there with a weird look on his face. He waves at the camera. I think he’s stoned.

And thus concludes today's episode.

Points So Far:

Eric – 15

Sheila – 7

Diana – 7

Hank – 3

Presto – 6

Bobby – 3

Uni – 1

Thanks again to the incomparable Daisy! Just a quick reminder that you can enter Recap Retro's "I Love Lucy" Anniversary Giveaway and win a $75 Gift Certificate at The Lucy Store!